Undisclosed Location

The end of a long road and a new beginning

As of today I am a fully board-certified physician of family medicine.

It was only fitting that I found out about it at 6 pm while sitting by myself in a dim office with the knowledge that I still had another hour or so of work to do. 

Hell of a long road it took to get here, that's for sure. It's funny to think that when I started this blog to record my journey through medical training I thought I'd feel different about this moment and what lay ahead of it. I remember thinking I'd feel relieved once I was standing at the top. How naive.

Little did I know that getting here would only mean that the work of learning was only beginning. It would mean that despite 80+ hour work weeks and sleep deprivation there are so many things I have yet to see and manage. That the mantle of responsibility I'd wear would feel so very heavy sometimes.

There are so many moments during my days now when I see glimpses of my family and friends through the patients I treat. I see it in a way they might look at me. I see it in all the worries, all the problems, all the joys and the sadness. It makes me want to learn more and make sure I know all the answers, make sure I know just the right things to say to make things better - even though sometimes I know that's impossible. It breaks my heart that for some of them all I can do is stand near and put a caring arm around them.

It's become all too frequent now the times when I'll think about a patient I saw a day or so earlier and wonder if there was something I missed or a different diagnosis I should have thought of. I want to answer all my messages quickly and return those phone calls that are requested by family members after seeing their loved ones in the office. All of this makes most of my days last about two or three hours longer than what they are scheduled but I know that I have to do it. I would hope that the person seeing my dad or my mom would do the same for them.

I know that most people who come to see me in the office probably don't think about things this way. I know because before I got into medicine I never gave a second thought about my doctor. In fact, most of the time I didn't want to even see him. 

I'm sure there are others out there who've said all of what I'm saying now in a more elegant and pointed way, but while sitting here thinking about what I've accomplished I'm only left with thinking how much I have yet to do and how little I really know.

I still have another long road to go down and another journey to experience...

2008 Retrospective

So there were lots of things to be thankful for in 2008, here they are in no specific order:

- My health: I guess as far as things go I'm in pretty good health. I behaved for a few months and managed to lose 30+ pounds. Then I went ahead and gained back about 10 of those...hey, I'm still 20 ahead though right?

- My new job: Done with the "being a resident" gig and now fully fledged. It's a gradual process growing into these shoes and learning to deal with the added responsibility.

- Our new apartment: Julie and I were getting way too cramped in my once bachelor pad. Now she has her own home office and don't have to turn in unison while in bed. 

- Google: For without it I'd be lost half the time and I would have no blog traffic from those of you still searching for song lyrics or for a place to tell the world how much you hate your bank.

- Celebrating a year of marriage: Much like everything else in my life, being married has been different than I had imagined. Despite how well we think know each other I still feel like Julie and I are peeling back new emotional layers and learning new facets of each other every day. It's exciting and scary at the same time but so is love...right?

- My iPhone: The single best piece of technology I've ever owned. Seriously. I've had to hold myself back from writing about it every single day and all the cool apps that are to be had for it. Whenever I'm not with Julie (and sometimes when I am) I'm using this thing.

- My wife: Sometimes a pain in my butt, always my best friend and confidant. Julie is a person that challenges me and keeps my life full of excitement...whether I want it or not - and for that I love her.  

Christmas 2008

Every year Christmas takes on a slightly different flavor. This year was spent with Julie's family and was a low-key affair, which was nice for me considering all the activity and changes that have gone on in 2008 for Julie and I. There was always something new coming around the corner, and it definetely presented us with a lot of oppertunities to grow (whether we did or not is a whole other thing). I hope all of you still reading enjoyed your holidays and had a chance to reflect on all the blessings in your life both big and small.

Where's Andrae?

So, lately I have come under fire for diluting the "Undisclosed Location" postings with my random musings. Izzy has pointed out that "since I joined the blog," subscriptions have dropped. In fact, about 20 of you have clicked delete in your feed readers. He attributes this to my occasional post about walking in the woods or about a friend's last day at work. "They look in their reader, see some random dude that they don't know from Adam, and click delete," he ranted earlier.

Well, I'm sorry. And I suppose I'm willing to accept that, instead of people leaving because Izzy's posts happen once every three months around here, they might be leaving because they just don't find my posts all that interesting. I, therefore, vow to be more interesting in my posts from now on. For those of you who haven't left, I'd like to reward you with a photo of Izzy brandishing a small, red, Red Lobster Pirate Knife (the little red drink garnish). For those of you who have moved on, but happen to be peeking in - come back - if for no other reason than the promise of the occasional "Where's Andrae?" Pirate Knife Photo.

On being a wallflower

Anyone who knows me knows that when it comes to being adventurous you're better off waiting for continental drift then waiting on me to do something different. I'm an entrenched creature of habit and if something is new you can bet I'll avoid it until I can't or I'm pushed straight into it kicking and screaming.

That's where my beautiful social butterfly Julie steps in. There's no doubt that I've done and seen things in the past two years that I'm sure I never would have without my long-suffering wife dragging my boring carcass along.

I always hit that game winning shot

Twenty-eight. I guess it really couldn't be the way I imagined it because I never pictured myself at this age. Married. Happy. On the verge of finally starting my career and a family. Things are falling into place and I couldn't be more thankful.

It's strange to think that I'm on the verge of a ten year high school reunion and that I've been blogging for almost five years now. I wonder if this is how my parents felt when they were my age...

I don't feel old but I know I'm getting older - age definitely has snuck up on me. One day I'm dorking around on the computer playing Prince of Persia and the next thing I know I'm an adult doing adult things and your youth is a collection of fuzzy rose-colored memories. Old high school friends are married and well-along in their careers, and yet when I look at their pictures I remember the days laughing in class and the bus dropping me off and games of basketball in the driveway pretending I was Patrick Ewing hitting the game winner in the NBA finals. It makes me smile and feel sad all at the same time.

Izzy's Birthday Part I

Happy Birthday Chubkins! Here we are on our way to an evening of fun at Red Lobster and bowling.

Izzy is a ripe old 28 this wednesday. He's already got a head start on being a crotchety old man, but we love him - me especially! I'll try to post some photos of the party later tonight.

Here we go 2008

What better way to cap off the year than do a photo retrospective. Two-thousand and seven was a year with a lot of highlights.

It was a hectic year all around with plenty of activity to keep us all busy. Julie found herself a new job and has been settling in to the hive nicely.

Business as usual for me, plenty of call to keep me up. It's nice having more time to office patients and less of the hospital. I've got in all of my deliveries and I'm hitting the home stretch ready for job interviews.

There were a few memorable concerts this year as well, mostly at the House of Blues, which has become something of a tradition for Julie and I.

It's where we had one of our first dates, became an "us"...

...and where we got engaged.

Our wedding went off as well as I could have imagined and was such a surreal experience. To know that I found the person I'll spend the rest of my life with is beyond amazing.

Julie has been at me for about a week now to post this here and give the blog a little life. To her I say thank you. Thank you for being who you are and making me laugh and love every single day. Thank you for being patient with me and for taking care of me like you do.

Here's to more love, happiness, and good memories to you and yours this upcoming year.

Married

So happy together....

Honeymoonin'

Julie has strep throat and a fever, so she really hasn't been able to kiss me and Cancun is about as unsunny as it could get. That's not gonna stop us from having fun though, because we have no other choice ;-)

More to come, but for now I wanted to give everyone the same view of paradise that we have