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I always hit that game winning shot

Twenty-eight. I guess it really couldn't be the way I imagined it because I never pictured myself at this age. Married. Happy. On the verge of finally starting my career and a family. Things are falling into place and I couldn't be more thankful.

It's strange to think that I'm on the verge of a ten year high school reunion and that I've been blogging for almost five years now. I wonder if this is how my parents felt when they were my age...

I don't feel old but I know I'm getting older - age definitely has snuck up on me. One day I'm dorking around on the computer playing Prince of Persia and the next thing I know I'm an adult doing adult things and your youth is a collection of fuzzy rose-colored memories. Old high school friends are married and well-along in their careers, and yet when I look at their pictures I remember the days laughing in class and the bus dropping me off and games of basketball in the driveway pretending I was Patrick Ewing hitting the game winner in the NBA finals. It makes me smile and feel sad all at the same time.

Izzy's Birthday Part I

Happy Birthday Chubkins! Here we are on our way to an evening of fun at Red Lobster and bowling.

Izzy is a ripe old 28 this wednesday. He's already got a head start on being a crotchety old man, but we love him - me especially! I'll try to post some photos of the party later tonight.

Here we go 2008

What better way to cap off the year than do a photo retrospective. Two-thousand and seven was a year with a lot of highlights.

It was a hectic year all around with plenty of activity to keep us all busy. Julie found herself a new job and has been settling in to the hive nicely.

Business as usual for me, plenty of call to keep me up. It's nice having more time to office patients and less of the hospital. I've got in all of my deliveries and I'm hitting the home stretch ready for job interviews.

There were a few memorable concerts this year as well, mostly at the House of Blues, which has become something of a tradition for Julie and I.

It's where we had one of our first dates, became an "us"...

...and where we got engaged.

Our wedding went off as well as I could have imagined and was such a surreal experience. To know that I found the person I'll spend the rest of my life with is beyond amazing.

Julie has been at me for about a week now to post this here and give the blog a little life. To her I say thank you. Thank you for being who you are and making me laugh and love every single day. Thank you for being patient with me and for taking care of me like you do.

Here's to more love, happiness, and good memories to you and yours this upcoming year.

Married

So happy together....

Honeymoonin'

Julie has strep throat and a fever, so she really hasn't been able to kiss me and Cancun is about as unsunny as it could get. That's not gonna stop us from having fun though, because we have no other choice ;-)

More to come, but for now I wanted to give everyone the same view of paradise that we have

Just saying hello

I guess the question now is "just because I can post remotely with pictures, should I actually do it?"

Right now the answer is a resounding YES...especially when there's nothing else to do and we're waiting on friends.

Julie and I are at Red Robin, we're gonna have to come up with witty things to say sooner or later...but don't hold your breath.

Guess What Izzy and I did Tonight...

Our first real date was a concert at the House of Blues almost one year ago. Israel mentioned that he wanted to see the Gavin DeGraw and Rachel Yamagata concert and I was dying to go on another date with him, so I ended up buying the tickets for $80 from a ticket broker. I remember trekking out to the far East side to pick up the tickets and getting my nails done the day of the concert. It was one of the best dates in the history of dates. I have to give a shout out to "Dee," a woman in the crowd with us who had driven from some distant place to see the concert only days before her brain surgery. She saw the way we looked at one another and asked if we were married. When we said no, she told Israel that he would marry me and that he should never let such a special lady go. The next time we went to the House of Blues for Daniel Powter, another woman told us the very same thing. We've had an attachment to the House of Blues and their intimate concert setting ever since.

Today Brandi Carlile came to the House of Blues. Yep, the Brandi Carlile who sings our song "The Story." We saw her in L.A. last year and Israel has been a fan for a long time. In fact, she was on the first mix c.d. that Israel ever gave me. Of course we had to be there. I gave Israel two tickets for his birthday back in April and of all the concerts we were looking forward to, this was the one we were looking forward to the most. The concert was amazing! If you haven't had the opportunity to see Brandi live, I would recommend watching for tickets in your area.

She played a few songs that we really enjoy and during "Closer to You" Izzy caught a guitar pick that she tossed into the audience:

Izzy caught Brandi Carlile's Pick

Finally, after so many songs that we love, the chords to our song "The Story" rang out of the guitar...

Of faith and belief and growth and everything inbetween

Something I'm thankful about especially when I think of Julie and I is how our spiritual relationship has grown. With Julie being Catholic when I met her and me being Adventist, it has been amazing opening the bible and talking about what we believe and why we believe it. I'm so thankful to be with someone who values faith as much as Julie does, and I see how her beliefs have weaved through her life and made her the amazing woman she is.

Although both of our parents have had (and let's be honest, still have concerns) about our differences in religion I think I'm in the best spiritual place that I've been in a long time. I've always prayed to be a responsible Christian steward when it comes to my religious choices, and Julie has given me new perspectives and opened my eyes to even some of my own core beliefs. We are committed to being in lockstep spiritually and I'm excited to see where our journey takes us.

Days are nights and nights are days

Good thing Julie is around or this place would be all but abandoned...

Peds ER has been it's usual beast and I'm running low on sleep as well as motivated time to actually sit down and write. Just about the only thing I've been up for lately is messing around with my Virb profile and browsing through groups on the site.

As a rotator I've gotten more than my fair share of late night/overnight shifts and as such have reverted back to my old days of staying up all night and sleeping during the day. I've noticed that although the work comes easier than it did back when I was a med student, the hours seem much, much longer. It's been a trip especially since I've also had a delivery already this month and another couple that should go down in the next couple days.

You Are My Sunshine

It has been such a long time since I have felt the sinking feeling at the very real threat of losing someone that I truly love. You say you love someone every day; you postulate on your future together and how things might go if one of you wasn't there for one reason or another. Sigh. I want to write it out in plain English and explore the full range of my feelings here on this blog, but it isn't a private enough space. While the manifesto is good, it doesn't mean that others are capable of respecting its every tenet. The long and the short of it is, for a brief moment today I felt like I might lose Izzy. The most devastating part of that moment was that, in spite of all our disagreements big and small, this particular situation is outside of my control completely. It is something important to Izzy and to me that neither one of us have control of. Just for the briefest of seconds he mentioned that his options were to stay and adapt or leave - and the mere mention stopped my heart completely. All seems to be well between us, he was only describing the options, but I have this indescribable feeling of unrest in my stomach.

Izzy has been my knight in shining armor (to use a cliche and banal phrase). I haven't felt as happy or content as I feel with him since my father was alive. I feel alive again, for the first time in years. Coming back to Izzy is the happiest part of any day.

Izzy goes to Washington

Cross one more trip off of my wish list. I'd been wanting to go to Washington DC for the longest time and just a few weeks ago I finally got to walk around the Nation's capitol. Julie and I threw together a mini-vacation during my brief time off for New Years and toasted in 2007 overlooking the National Mall.

Our brief timeframe precluded viewing everything the city had to offer, but that just means I have more reason to visit again. I loved everything about DC and felt a weird connection with the city...I'd almost venture to say that I wouldn't mind living someplace nearby.

We managed to see most of the major sites like the Smithsonian, the Washington Memorial, Congress, and the National Archives. There was a lot of walking, but being in a city with a good subway/rail system is always a lot of fun. It would be easy for a person to just fly into the city and rely solely on public transportation, which is not something I'd say about Northeast Ohio.

New year, fresh starts

I've rung in 2007 on an upbeat note, especially after a great vacation to DC (which I'll write about soon). This year I'm going to try a few things to better myself, and chief on that list is eliminating all sugared sodas. Now for those of you who know me, you know that's going to be a tall order. Considering my addiction to Mountain Dew, it's a miracle I haven't lost my mind already. I figure that I'm saving at least 500-700 calories daily from this alone, because I usually down anywhere from 2-4 cans in a day.

I've already gotten used to diet soda for the most part (though there's still a big part of me that misses the Dew like crazy), and I'm drinking bottled waters at work with crystal light packets thrown in (baby steps). Add this to my cardio work at the gym and I think that I'm slowly but surely moving toward a more healthy existence. We'll just see how long this lasts...

A Family Christmas

This year Julie and I had a good old-fashioned family Christmas, complete with both of our families. Everyone came on down to the farm and we had a day of opening presents, playing games, eating great food, and lounging around in our pajamas. There was laughter, hugs, and smiles galore...just the way Christmas should be.

I made out like a bandit this Christmas thanks to my beautiful girlfriend and family. Not only did I get the slippers I had been eyeing for some time, I also got the ipod Nano and Nike sports kit that I had been talking about endlessly for the past couple of months. My family got me some well needed dress shirts and ties along with a sports coat, and Julie's mom put the icing on the cake by getting me a $50 iTunes gift card along with movie passes and a restaurant gift card. She even bought us the candy for the movie!

I'm sure she'll have more to say on the subject, but Julie had a great take as well. I know she'd also agree with me when I say that even more important than all the presents was all the fun we had and all the smiles we saw Christmas morning. It was nice to see our families together as a single unit... ;-)

The day Macs stopped "just working"

So I finally get Julie's mom to purchase a brand new iMac and the damn thing is crashing harder than Lindsey Lohan on the autobahn. Applications are unexpectedly quitting, the multiple user setup isn't working right, and Julie's family is ready to throw the stupid thing out the window. I spent a couple hours last week setting things up for them and even I ran into problems with iPhoto and camera syncing. I mean comon, iPhoto? I've never before had a problem with this progam...now I can't even get it to import photos the right way. I've got a lot of egg on my face right now, and if I don't get over there quit and resuscitate this thing I'm going to lose all credibility.

UPDATE: I went and did my best to fix all of the nagging issues...and I think I managed to fix just about all of them. Programs are now working as they should and photos are being imported without issue.

Busy being cute

It's hard to juggle student teaching, taking classes, singing in a church choir, working on a campus magazine, singing in the Cleveland Orchestra Chorus, and leading a student ambassador group...yet my girlfriend happens to deal with them all beautifully. Are there days when she gets stressed out? Of course. But on the whole my sweetie handles herself like a champion with everything she has on her plate. This is just one of many reasons why I love being with Julie and why I'm so proud of her. She is one of the most capable women I have ever met and I know I can count on her when things need to get done. That's a huge part of being in a trusting relationship...being with someone that you can rely on.

Yep, that's my princess...

Things are getting dusty around here

Yeah, I guess I've been having something of a blog funk lately (and by lately I mean the last 4 months). I wonder how many of you have stuck around or even care that I'm updating things. Hopefully some have kept me on bloglines or some other RSS reader and will see this all-too-rare shout in the dark.

Anyway, at least I can say that my lack of blogging stems from life going smoothly. I've found myself wanting to write, but not really having much to say because things are at a nice place right now. I'm in a great relationship with someone that I respect on every level imaginable, things at work have settled down somewhat now that I'm a second year resident, and I'm usually out and about because I have a woman who always has a new place for us to visit.

This post is really just me stretching out those blog muscles which have atrophied over the past few months. I know there's nothing of substance here, especially compared to Julie's blog which is chock-full of interesting personal stories and reflections. Any of you who enjoy reading my drivel should check out her site and consider giving her some link love.

I'll end with this picture which is just one of many that are fill my iPhoto library. It's a shot of me and my cutie havin' some fun. I've loaded a bunch more in a few new albums on my flickr site if any of you are interested.

From the top of my mountain

So yeah, hello out there to all of you still following along. No, in fact I'm not dead...not even close. Life is actually so good I haven't missed my lack of computer and internet time.

The picture above shows the reason why life is so good right now...because I have Julie in my world. Her and I met around three months ago, we hit it off instantly, and we've been growing closer ever since. I'd be hard pressed to think of someone I've met that is as talented, sweet, and cute as my girlfriend is. Today marks our one month anniversary of being a couple and I wanted to take the opportunity here on my online soapbox to say something to her.

I love you sweetie.

Updates to come

I just don't have much in me to write them. Another woman has taken a piece of me with her and gone away.

I threw up some pics on my Flickr site, now that I have a new camera I figured I should actually use it...

Trying to keep my head above water

So many things are happening in my life right now...finding the words is hard. I'm excited, scared, worried, and relieved every day--and often at the same time. It's amazing what a rollercoaster I'm on and how surreal my life is most of the time. Yesterday I went from giving chest compressions on a patient who was dying to wondering when the day was over so I could speak to Kirsti again.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but I'm just trying to get things out so I can really work them out when I have time.

Being a physician has made me look at life so much differently than I could have imagined, and working in the ICU has only magnified the effect. Life moves in slow motion when I see the human drama around me and often the feelings are lost on me because I've closed them off. At the same time I'm trying to open my heart again and let someone in...

I guess it comes down to feeling like I'm at the extremes when I'm only comfortable somewhere in the middles of the ends.

Say cheese

How could I be any happier? In an Apple Store with Kirsti...

The new twinkle in my eye

I don't know about all of you, but I think there's nothing more exciting than the first few weeks of a new relationship. I've had the good fortune over the past couple months to come across an amazing woman and right now I'm not ashamed to say that she's got me feeling like I haven't felt in a long long time.

What feeling is that? Well it's the one that makes me smile when I think of her. The one that keeps me spending the idling hours of the day wondering when I can see her again. The one that makes me want to talk to her for hours on end just to hear her voice, yet keeps me just as content when I just sit near her and close my eyes. Yeah, that feeling...it's nice.

So it's about time I introduce all of you to this new person in my life. Everyone, say hello to Kirsti. I guess I can say we've been dating for the past few weeks now, since that was actually when we met in person for the first time. Kirsti and I actually found each other through eHarmony and I gotta admit that Dr. Warren did his homework. I'll write something about the service soon, but suffice to say that Kirsti and I have an insane amount of things in common, and I know there's no way I would have ever met her without making that profile.

Since December, Kirsti and I have gone from exchanging emails, to talking on the phone, and eventually visiting each other (more posts on this coming in the future). We've spent time talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other's company. I can honestly say I've never spent time with someone as similar to me as she is...and that is beyond exciting.

I'm already looking forward to the next time I can see you again Kirsti, and I hope that day is sooner rather than later.

So much to write

...that I'm bursting out the seams. I've got a lot of things I'm going to try getting out over the next few days. Surprisingly enough they're actually thoughts of real substance and exciting events in my world. I'm working in the ICU this month so I've got very little time to write, but I have to make time before I go crazy keeping this stuff inside.

Is it wrong...

...that I still get excited when I'm pouring cereal and a prize falls right out of the box and into the bowl? I remember having to dig for those things when I was a kid (thus causing the plastic lining of the cereal pouch to not fit back into the box), now they make it easy and just put them at the top.

Actually, now that I think about it the bigger question is probably whether it's wrong that I still eat cereal with prizes inside.

Life in the family practice center

I spent the past month and will spend the rest of this one in the Family Practice Center. Last month I had my service month, which basically meant that I was taking care of the patients who were admitted by family practice in the hospital wards. The good was that compared to the internal medicine service our patient census was much smaller, the bad was that our patients seemed to be in much worse shape. Whenever an admit came in I could expect the patient to have a multitude of medical health problems and that either one or several of them were uncontrolled. I'm not sure if it's because of the patient population or something that we are doing wrong with our management, but the admissions were either really soft or complete train wrecks.

2005 in perspective

What a year...

Did I end up where I wanted to be? Yes and no. As usual I didn't make enough progress to be completely satisfied, but didn't fall back enough to be completely disappointed. "Lovely lukewarm anonymous mediocrity" was probably the theme for the year. Whether it was a function of how hard I am on myself, my inexplicable lack of motivation, or something else I'm not sure of. I can honestly say 2005 was probably the most momentous and stressful year of my life.

The other day I read something that got my wheels turning:

He wanted no sadness attached to his childhood; he loved its memories: any day of it he remembered now seemed flooded by a still brilliant sunlight. It seemed to him as if a few rays from it reached into his present: not rays, more like pinpoint spotlights that gave an occasional moment's glitter to his job, to his lonely apartment, to the quiet, scrupulous progression of his existence.

Here's to a 2006 that's full of rays of sunlight...and more blog posts. ;-)

View from the not-so-cheap seats

So THIS is what a basketball game looks like from 8 rows up...

I had the great fortune this past weekend to check out the Cavs with some sweet seats (section 126) that my dad scored from a friend who had season tickets and wasn't going to the game. These tickets normally sell for 120 bucks a piece, so needless to say I was extremely pumped. This was the first time I've been able to see the Cavaliers play in person, and it was the game where we unveiled our new blue road alternate uniforms.

Watching LeBron play live only reaffirms my belief that he is going to go down in history as one of the all-time greats by the time he retires. It was almost if he didn't even have to try and could just flip on a switch and take over whenever he needed to. Even though we ended up losing the game, I couldn't have had a better time. The action was exciting until the very last second, and I had a blast absorbing the energy coming off the crowd. I came away with some great memories and a brand new blue LeBron jersey...not a bad night at all. Click on the picture posted above to check out some more of my shots.

Blowing the dust off

People told me that my month of pediatrics was going to be a busy one...

It's been a while since I've written on here, and for that I apologize. For those of you still tuned in, here's a quick recap of what's been going on for the past couple of weeks:

I've been working my ass off over at the children's hospital. There are a lot of sick kids this time of year, but what really makes the day busy is the high turnover rate that you get with pediatrics. Kids will come in really sick, but improve quickly while in the hospital. That means a lot discharges and admissions throughout the course of the day. On my busiest day I discharged 12 kids and admitted 14, which needless to say was the day from hell. Calls have been brutal on this rotation, with admissions usually coming in at the worse times. I mentally prepare myself to not get any sleep, but that doesn't help when it's 4am and I've got two admissions yet to come in. Pages come from the floor at all hours of the day and night, and usually for things that could have been easily taken care of hours earlier. There's been many a night when I had the opportunity to write on here but was just too beat up to do so.

Deliver your own babies from now on

Tomorrow brings with it my last day on the OB service, which will actually be a sad thing because of the great time I had working with my OB compatriots. It took me a while to gain the trust of the more senior residents, but once they saw I was somewhat competent and willing to put in the work I was welcomed with open arms. I've met some great personalities on this service and I look forward to running into people in the hallways or the cafeteria. There's nothing I appreciate more than residents who know how to have fun and know when to turn it up a notch and get work done.

All I do is work and sleep

The title says it all. The only thing I have the energy to do these days is sleep. As soon as I get out of the hospital I come home with ambitions to study or write or answer my voice mail messages. The moment I hit my apartment, however, the veil of sleep hits me and before I know it I'm out like a light.

I was joking with people the other day that I've become narcoleptic and I'm starting to believe it might be true. I haven't actually been timing it, but it feels like I can go from wide awake to sleeping in less than two or three minutes. In fact, while writing this entry I can feel my eyelids getting heavier. What the hell kind of a life do I lead when all I do is work and sleep? And how will I ever meet that special woman when I can't even stay awake?

Where's Izzy? He needs to give this patient a hug

Another rotation down, many more to go. My days of being a surgeon are now behind me...not that I was ever really a surgeon in the first place. Most of my month was spent doing floor work and consults, with the occasional trip to the ER. I can't really complain though, because I wasn't really interested in getting into the OR. The trauma calls and surgical teams were more than enough excitement for me.

I'm thankful to be moving on, though I must say I'll miss the residents I was working with. Surprisingly, I really lucked out when it came to the team I was on. I had the easiest surgical residents to get along with in the entire hospital and have nothing but great things to say about the way they treated me as a rotator on the service (despite the title of this post, which was a common line thrown my way whenever I walked into a room full of surgeons...I guess you can't expect a family practice resident to get away without any ribbing whatsoever).

I knocked out nine surgical calls and didn't have a single person die on my watch, which as an intern on call is pretty much all you can ask for. I wish I had some exciting stories to tell about my nights on call, but for the most part it was just prescribing pain and nausea meds for post-op patients. I had a handful of people complain of chest pain (no MI's thankfully), had one patient take a nose dive off a bed, and had one person who needed to be ruled out for PE. The rest of the calls that I received (every 20 minutes like clockwork) were either for blood sugars or other minor things that I was easily able to handle.

I've got one day of OB under my belt so far, but it was a quiet one that didn't involve any deliveries. I'll write more about my new rotation in the upcoming days, for now I'm going to enjoy what's left of the rare long weekend.

Taking it one day at a time

I'm quickly finding that if I try to think ahead during my intern year I immediately feel overwhelmed and wonder how the hell I'm ever going to get through this. For survival...for sanity, I'm going to have to live in the moment and take things one day at a time. That's yet another learning process for me, because I'm more of a long-term kind of person and I tend to jump three or four steps ahead of the present.

My first surgery floor call went better than expected, which is a rarity for me. It also makes me worried that the next one will be a hellish ordeal beyond description. I still can't shake the feeling that I don't know enough. I'm tired in ways I never imagined so I'm going to cut this entry short. There's a lot I still want to say, but now I find myself not wanting to pour everything out.

Scattered PGY-1 notes

It's been a month since my graduation and I still haven't gotten used to the title. I don't ever use it when I sign things outside of the hospital and it feels strange to have people refer to me as a doctor. This past month has included a lot of orientation, a lot of organizational meetings, and getting a lot of things sorted out. There's also getting paperwork done, benefits sorted, and passing certification courses for neonatal resuscitation and advanced life support for obstetrics.

(For the benefit of those of you who don't know how a family medicine residency works, I wanted to give a quick run-down of what I'll be doing for the next year and what I can look forward to in the years to come. If you already know how all of this works, I'd suggest just skipping this part and expanding the post to read the rest.)

Family medicine has a three year residency program that basically runs the gamut of a lot of different specialties. In my first year I'm doing three months of family medicine, two months of obstetrics, two months of pediatrics, one month of medicine, two months of critical care (ICU/CCU), one month of ER, and one month of surgery. Throughout the whole year I'm also taking care of my patients at the family medicine center during specific half-days of the week.

Since it is my first year, all of my months are required and I have no electives. As a second year I'll have some more flexibility in choosing my specialty months, and I'll be seeing more patients in an office setting. In my third year I'll mainly be taking care of my family medicine patients and doing elective specialties.

All settled in

Now that I'm 95% moved in and settled I figured it was high time that I post some photos. I was going to wait until I got all of the wall art hung up, but I'm still waiting on some shots to be mailed so I figured I better get something up here quick before I lose any more of you to blogging inactivity.

I went to a bunch of stores looking for wall art, but when I saw the prices I realized I'd be better off just buying frames and getting my favorite photos blown up and printed through iPhoto. Should serve for good conversation as well, because I think a lot of the shots came out far better than I expected. Once I get them all hung up I'll take close up shots so you can get a better idea of what I'm talking about. Click on the picture above to view the flickr photoset complete with notes.

Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

It's been a while hasn't it? All apologies for the lack of content around here. With orientation activities in the hospital, moving into my new apartment, and other assorted life events I've been lax in my attention to the weblog. I wanted to come back with a great megapost complete with pictures of the new place, but unfortunately my camera has gone missing. If anyone has seen a Canon Powershot A40 that answers to the name Izzy's camera please drop me an email.

Ease of use?

I just spent the last 25 minutes on the phone trying to walk my dad through EJECTING A FLOPPY DISK. Yeah, you heard me right. Even though personal computers have been around for over twenty years and have become a part of our everyday lives, there are still people like my father you can't figure out how to eject a floppy. Most of this I blame Apple for because of their confusing system of ejecting things by dragging them to the trash. Not having a manual eject button on the computer itself was one of the surest ways to confuse the hell out of people like my dear old dad. I don't need a lecture on how using this method ensures people won't eject discs that contains files they are working on. I just don't see how this meshes up with making things user friendly.

Boarded up

A piece of my childhood has been laid to rest for good. The home where I grew up has been seized by the drug enforcement agency and boarded up. My dad was in the city driving through our old neighborhood and saw it firsthand. It wasn't hard to believe considering how bad the neighborhood was even when we moved out. It could have only gotten worse. Not only was our house "reclaimed" by the city, so were two more houses next door. I'm hoping that the city decides to fix up the houses and sell them, or at least sell them to somebody who will do something useful with the property.

My dad put a lot of sweat and money into that house and it's a shame it had to end up like this. There's a part of me that wonders what kind of shady deals went down in my old room or in the kitchen. If there were people shooting up in the dining room or if they set up a meth lab in the laundry room. It's surreal to think that DEA agents probably broke down the door and barged into the room where I took my first steps. Here's to hoping that the house lives to see another day...

UPDATE: While getting my car fixed the other day my dad drove me by the house so I could see it for myself. What a disaster. The siding is all stripped off, as are the gutters. There's graffiti all over the garage and the yard looks like something out of a jungle. Interestingly enough, the roof had three different satellites on it, and they all looked fairly new. I guess the junkies in the house only took their television seriously.

We want our money back now

I always find it strange when people tell me they couldn't go to college because they couldn't afford it. Today is especially one of those days because I'm in the process of collecting all of my student loan information to consolidate and get locked in to this great interest rate we currently have (but will lose on July 1). I'm looking at debt WELL into six digits here, and over 20 different loans that have been taken out total.

Don't tell me you can't afford school, because I was able to go through without a single red cent from mom and dad. Sure there was the occasional $10 for gas or a gallon of milk and bread, but my schooling was paid for in entirety by the US government and private lenders. With a decent salary it will take me well over 15 years to pay all of this off, and that's being optimistic. I've managed to secure myself a professional job with this money, however, and will use that to improve the life of both myself and my family. This is what this country is all about. The opportunity IS there.

Don't these kids watch Sesame Street anymore?

So I'm at the park working on my tennis game. I've been in the racquetball cage hitting balls for around a half hour when I notice a couple kids standing behind the cage looking at me. I've got my headphones on so I can't hear what they're saying, but when I turn around I catch something screamed out and take my headphones off.

Little girl who couldn't be more than six years old (brat): I said how much longer are you going to be in there?!
Me: Why is that? Do you want to get in here? (maintaining composure, remembering she's just a little kid)
Brat: Yeah! Why do you have to be in there so long anyway?
Me: (after looking up and seeing her mother sitting on a bench just smiling at this whole scene) Well I'm practicing right now, so I'll be here for a few more minutes. Don't they still talk about practicing on Sesame Street anymore? That's the only way to get better at something you know (wanting to slap the hell out of this little brat, especially since I can tell her mother never would).
Brat: (sulks away, mother looks at her and laughs)

Is this what it has come to? There were three tennis courts and another racquetball cage EMPTY at this point, and this little turd just decided she wanted the one I was in. I don't blame her for being that way, I blame her mother, who sat back and watched this exchange without saying a word. I looked at her for a few seconds after the girl left and got no reaction other than a smile.

The lie that is "wrinkle-free"

I've given it all the chances that I could. There's no other conclusion but that it's a big scam. A lie. I own two dress shirts, three pants, and two polos that are all supposed to be "wrinkle-free." I've followed the washing and drying directions to the letter and I've promptly removed them and hung them up as instructed. I'm not expecting perfection, I understand that the only way to get a fully wrinkle-free look is to iron and starch, but this is below even halfway decent. The pants look like they've been run over by a truck and the shirts are even worse.

Am I the only one who has bad experiences with this "wrinkle-free technology?" I'd love to be able to wash and wear without having to break out the ironing board, but I need an acceptable level of neatness if this is gonna fly. Considering that 100% cotton clothes are just as comfortable, I'm wondering why I'd even bother paying extra for something that's not working as advertised. Unless any of you out there have tips on how to keep these shirts and pants wrinkle-free, the ironing board will continue getting heavy use.

Well done little sis

Tomorrow my little sister Christina graduates from HS and it becomes painfully clear that I'm getting older.

The seven years that separated us by age were only part of what kept us in our own worlds. I'll reluctantly admit here in front of who knows how many readers that I haven't been the best brother in the world. To be honest I really can't even completely explain why (I'm sure Christina would agree that a lot of it can be chalked up to selfishness, immaturity, and stubbornness). When we were kids there just weren't many things that we shared, and as the years go on I realize more and more what a shame that was. I regret a lot of things about our relationship in the past, and I hope if she's reading this that she would agree that I've come a long way.

Christina will be starting college soon, and I guess like any big brother I'm scared to even think about it. I've always seen her as my little sister...*winces* and not like a young woman. But it wasn't that long ago when I was in her shoes. I remember how exciting and scary it was to start anew and make friends, to fit in on a big campus, and how much pressure was involved with taking on more responsibility. I remember that there were many things to figure out that I would cringe to think about my parents finding out about. I had many a night when I stayed up thinking about things that I wanted to talk to someone about, but didn't know who I could confide in.

You have a lot of things going for you sis. You're smart (yes you ARE so stop making that face), you're beautiful, you have a great personality, all the opportunity in the world, and most importantly, you have a family that loves you. I know being on the edge of adulthood is a scary place, but I'm sure you'll make it through with flying colors. I like to give you a hard time and be a sarcastic ass, but believe me when I tell you that you're the complete package.

There are things that we deal with in life that we may not want our parents to be involved in. Trust me when I tell you that I have a good idea of what you're dealing with Christina. If you ever need to bounce ideas off of someone, need an opinion, or just want to say something you could never say to mom and dad, I want you to know you have a listening ear. Basically, I just want to let you know that I'm here for you if you need me. I don't say it as often as I should. I love you and I'm proud of you (and no, I didn't get someone else to write this for me so stop thinking that).

Congratulations graduate :-)

I've found a new home

With residencies and marriage taking us in different directions, my roommates and I are finding different places to live. Needles to say, apartment hunting the last few days has been anything but fun. Tim and Laura have already found a place to shack up, and even though it would be great to live nearby I just wasn't a fan of the complex they had chosen to live. They'll be moving out after a year anyway, so I figured it wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't in the same place.

After seeing a handful of places, I decided today on a complex that is less than a mile from my current apartment and I paid a deposit to reserve it for July 1. My monthly rent will be going up and I'll not have my own washer and dryer, but it's hard to be picky when it comes to one-bedroom apartments. Most of the places I saw were either run-down, too far from the hospital, or had paper-thin walls.** Besides, I like the area where I'm currently living (quiet residential area), I'm near all the major shopping, and I'm less than a mile away from the highway.

So when exactly do I use this title?

Tim over at Prognosis Negative has brought up an interesting question that I've been wondering myself. Now that the both of us have received our titles of MD, when exactly are we supposed to use them? For banking? Credit cards? Checks? The last thing I want to do is come across like a pompous jerk, but I understand that there are situations when we should be using our titles. Does anyone have any input on the matter?

Saying goodbye to good friends

With residency rapidly approaching for many of my friends, the time has come for them to pack up their things and move to their new homes. It's a bittersweet affair because they're excited to finally be starting, but we'll all be separated by long distances and long hours of working. I'm going today to help one of my dearest friends move out of her apartment. This will probably be the last time I see her for quite some time...

Dr. Izzy and the long white coat

The flurry of family activity is finally over. My medical school training is finally over. I'm now a doctor.

It really still hasn't set in yet, and I wonder how long it's going to take before I'm comfortable with the mantle of being an MD. I don't feel any different than I did a few days ago. I'm not smarter, more mature, or even more confident...this transition has been a few years in the making.

My graduation was really a day dedicated to my parents. It's hard to describe what it felt like to look into the audience and see them smiling at me, especially considering all the years they sacrificed to make sure that I had the best of everything and every opportunity to succeed. I honestly could have never have done it without them. Your hard work paid off mom and dad...I made it. Thank you.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with how a medical school graduation works, check out the photo album i've set up. I've described a lot of the ceremony through the picture captions.

Make some room please

I have to figure out a way to purge my brain of at least half of the useless information I carry with me and continue to collect on a daily basis. Who knows how much better I could have performed in medical school if I could have diverted even a small portion of this "brainspace" to all things medical. The movie quotes, the sports stats, the ridiculous news headlines, the web addresses, the music lyrics...I wouldn't want to ditch them all, but a spring cleaning would surely help.

It reminds me of that 'Married With Children' episode where Kelly starting memorizing all these facts for a game show only to forget simple things because her brain only had so much room. I know that our brain isn't finite in this way, but lately I feel like mine is. As I get ready to start residency and I read through review books I constantly come across things that I used to know but for some reason forgot. Everything's on the tip of my tongue or just out of brain-reach because it's been pushed away by some ridiculous piece of information.

Don't try to have a guy friendship with a girl

I'm learning the hard way that no matter how much a female friend of yours may act like "one of the guys," there's no way you can have a guy friendship with her. Today I got into hot water with a friend that got hurt last week and is angry at me because I haven't called her to find out how she is doing. She's telling me that I only call when I need something and that it's strange that everyone else knew about what happened to her and I didn't. Of course I feel like a heel because I had no idea what was going on and just walked into the angry woman land mine.

When you're friends with a guy you don't make phone calls to check up on how they are doing...you just call when an appropriate moment comes up to hang out. The past week or so has been strange for me and I've been running around doing odd errands here and there, doing a lot of driving between the apartment and home. I never thought to call this friend because I knew there wouldn't be time for us to hang out or do anything, and I took our friendship as a very comfortable one that didn't hinge on constant contact.

I always try to be there for my friends, so I'm upset that I wasn't able to be there for her when she needed me. I understand why she would be mad at me, and I blame myself for not treating this friendship more carefully than my other ones. I'm not sure if she reads this blog, but in case she does happen to come across this post I'd like to say I'm sorry again.

(Imagine that...it took getting chewed out to finally spit out a post. Maybe I'm taking my blog friends for granted as well.)

Enemy, know thyself

You ever get the feeling that you're the most destructive force in your own life?

Right now, if I were possible to cut myself out of my own existence I might actually be better off. I've become a cancer to everything I need to accomplish.

There's nothing more sickening that realizing that you're the only one to blame for things going wrong. There's no escaping, no shifting, no deflecting when that buck falls squarely on my face. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger though right?

...or it beats me down even further.

Are we there yet?

What a tiring trip. I suffered a lot because I wanted to save a little bit of money and drive to Atlanta.

Tim and I ended up leaving at around 5:30am Tuesday morning, mainly because I didn't want to drive through the night and completely destroy my sleep schedule. The trip took around 11 hours, which was actually better than I expected considering we got stuck in traffic twice and went through a lot of construction areas. Most of the time I was cruising along at 75mph, but there were a few stretches of road where I was able to take my car up to 90. Directions from MapQuest turned out to be good up until the end, where we ended up having to ask for directions and realized we had missed the very last exit. All-in-all the trip down wasn't too grueling and I enjoyed the road. Thankfully, the testing center is right next to several hotels, so our room was less than a half-mile away and it was no problem checking in and doing some last-minute studying. (I'll get into the specifics of the test itself in another post for those of you who are unfamiliar with the format.)

ATL here I come

I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon for Atlanta and my USMLE STEP 2 Clinical Skills Exam. It'll be a 12+ hour drive, but my iPod will keep me entertained and Jatster will be along for laughs (we're taking the test on the same day). A recap of the trip and the test experience will follow when I return on Friday. Until then, have a great week everyone.

Here comes the medicine

I'm currently taking human values in medicine courses for my last month of medical school and because of that I'll probably have a lot more content to post here of the "medical-ethical" and "why is it that things are happening this way?" variety. I figured if I'm going to have to write reaction pieces to selected readings I might as well kill two birds with one stone and turn them into blog entries. So if you're not interested in that kind of thing, don't worry because it probably won't last for more than a month and I'll still be posting geeky things interspersed with mindless drivel. If you happen to love these topics, well then I guess you're in luck (unless you think my writing sucks) for the forseeable future.

Bar life just isn't for me

A friend of mine was participating in a charity event for the local children's burn unit last night. It involved her getting behind the bar and serving drinks at a local watering hole (this was actually part of a group project). I went to show support...by laughing at her serving beer and giving her a hard time with fake orders.

Immediately upon entering the bar I remembered why I hadn't been in one in over a year. Loud music made it hard to talk without yelling, there was smoke everywhere, and I ran into lots of people that I knew peripherally but never really had meaningful conversations with. I stayed for a few hours (thankfully this was a sports bar and baseball games were on) and had a few good laughs, but ended leaving with a headache. I can't for the life of me understand why people think this is an optimal place to socialize. More proof that I'm an old man and a fuddy-duddy extraordinare.

FINALLY

Happy birthday you lazy bum (a third of my life is over)

My twenty-fifth birthday has been spent studying. Yep, I'll be studying all night and all day tomorrow as well. I've got a ton of other work to do and it's snowing like it was in the middle of January. Let's see if I left anything out...

Oh yeah, I'm coming home to an empty apartment and will eat my birthday pizza alone. (Sorry mom, I couldn't come home after getting out of the library because I need to study and I'll get nothing done at home.)

It's a good thing I have 50 or so of these things left, because this one ranks at the bottom of the list.

I've been comin' to the same birthday party for years...and in no way is that depressing. ;-)

Be careful what you recommend

A good friend of mine called me from the video store and asked me to recommend a movie for her to rent that she could watch with her mom who was visiting from NY. She knows I watch a lot of movies and said she trusted my judgment. Whenever someone asks my advice with movies I refer to cin-o-matic and the DVD watch list I've made. I have around 10-15 films in it at any given time, and it's usually a good pool of movies to recommend. I figured a romantic comedy/drama would be a good choice and thought that this movie fit the bill. She took my advice and rented it, and then asked me if I wanted to come